Story opens with a man walking by a bulletin board. He is dressed in a shirt and tie. He is in his workplace. Does a double take at a particular flyer. Flyer says, "Jimmy's BBQ. Its so good it will make you pass out. On the OUTSKIRTS of town. Dine in or take out". (Man's name is Nort,for now at least). Nort looks at flyer, mulling over the outlandish claim. Looks at watch. 1215. Time for lunch. Nort races out of town to get some bbq to take back to the office. The outskirts are in the desert. The town he works is seemingly a oasis in the middle of a desert. Nort drives a nice red sports car with a racing stripe down the middle. The flyer is resting on his passenger seat. Nort keeps glancing at it, laughing to himself. Nort gets closer to Jimmy's as signs on the road tell him he is closer and closer. When the last sign tells him to turn in he is presented with a picnic table, an old beat-up grill, and a large Pig costumed man tending the the old grill. Nort is hesitant to leave his car and contemplates turning back, just then the pig sees him and starts to gallop over to him in a floaty manner. he pantomimes for Nort to come over and order. Nort takes a look at the chalkboard menu by the grill, and points at the pulled pork sandwich. Pig jumps in pure glee, and hurriedly runs over to his grill. Pig prepares the sandwich behind the grill, his speed and giddiness is matched only by the grotesquely, frozen, saccharine smile of the pig costume. Nort all the while thinks, that things could be worse. He came this far, he needs to try this "pass out good BBQ". The sandwich is finished. Pig pantomimes "here or to go?" To go, motions Nort. The sandwich is placed inside a bag and Nort is on his way. Pig waves good bye. Sandwich is now on Nort's passenger seat. A bit of the sandwich is exposed, and Nort is intrigued. Can this sandwich really be so good, some one would pass out? Can it really be? His hand slowly creeps toward the bag. Can it be? Nort grabs a piece of meat, brings it to his mouth. Opens his mouth. There is now a car in the middle of the desert drifting toward a big rock in the sand. The car is red, with a white racing stripe. The driver inside is passed out. Luckily nort's foot came off the gas, so he hit the rock at a seemingly mediocre pace. Nonetheless his car starts to smoke. Nort makes no sign of waking up. Just then a pink glimmer shines in the distance. The heat of the floor distorts the form, but the closer it gets the clearer it becomes. Its a man in a pink pig costume running towards the wreck. He pulls Nort out of the car. The car catches on fire. Nort is saved. eventually Nort comes to, and comes face to face with his savior and the reality of his car. Pig looks at him. Nort looks at him, severly confused. Pig points at flyer, and gives Nort a "cmon man, it says pass out good" gesticulation. Nort remains confused.
THE END
As you can see this is rough and maybe a lil long, but after seeing this....
http://motionographer.com/2009/05/27/supinfocom-scoop-volante-flying-saucer/ ....I think it can be done. Quick cuts and strong acting are the key, setting is the desert. Models are minimal and detailed. Two characters. Rip it apart. Make it better. Let me know what you think.
EDIT: FLYER CONCEPT
stu
I think there are some really cool things in here. Especially the pig costume character. I was envisioning it with a cut-out face hole, where the overly enthusiastic character's actual face is almost more pig-like than the cheesy costume.
ReplyDeleteMy only issue with it is the resolution, I think we can tweak that a bit to make it stronger. The audience is expecting him to pass out after seeing the flyer and the suspensful buildup in the car as he hesitates to eat it, so I was hoping something unexpected would happen at the end. In fact, the man could take a bite of the sandwich right after buying it - right in front of the pig - and that would eliminate the whole car stuff (although I do like the image of the pig costume running in through waves of heat.
Overall, though, I think its much to complex right now for time constraints. Its going to balloon into something bigger no matter what, so if we start smaller and simpler, we may be better off. I'll think on this - but I suggest trying to write out the 7 sentence paragraph with some kind of twist ending that would throw the audience off. Not sure what, though.
tis true, sir about the balloning and resolution. at least its a arrow to put in a quiver.
ReplyDeletecommence, thinking smaller